30 Days of Meditation: Anatomy of a Yoga Challenge. Day 3
Back to the grind. I returned to work today after a lovely holiday break. In anticipation of a busy day, I made my meditation plan before bed last night. I set my alarm for 5 am and had lights out by 10 pm. As luck would have it, I didn't sleep well at all. However, the fact that my husband was getting up early to hit the gym pool helped motivate me out of bed. I spent a few minutes on my morning rituals and preparing myself form mediation (more on that another time). I started the electric kettle, and with the promise of a hot cup of earl grey just minutes away, I sat.
Today I used a large round cushion that is almost big enough to support my whole bottom body. I placed my feet into bound angle pose and used a small blanket for my knees to spill on to. I found that in this leg variation I felt the support of crossed legs without my feet and ankle falling asleep as they often do during longer meditations. To support my back, another soft cushion and a firm wall. I have to say it is the most comfortable and supported that I have felt yet. The firmness of the wall against my back allowed me to sit up tall and still feel at ease. A few of the words that I journaled afterward included, peaceful, content, breath lifting me up. And all of those things were true. The now familiar meditation through Anamaya Kosha paced just right to keep me engaged while offering plenty of time for silent introspection and the comfort of the seat I had chosen kept me feeling grounded. While the anchor of my breath moved through me in a supportive and uplifting way. Even so, some other words I jotted down were imperfect, trying to hard, wandering mind. All of those things were also true.
I am quickly learning that while I am pretty good at Pratyahara (withdrawal of the senses), I struggle with Dharana (concentration). As I wrote in my journal after wards, I am trying to hard. There is a delicate balance in meditation that I am still practicing towards. In fact to call what I am doing meditation seems a little premature. But hey, it's only day 3. So today I will call it success, or victory, as Brooke reminds us during the practice. Or maybe I won't label it anything just yet. Maybe I will just hold the experience in my heart until it grows into whatever it is meant to be.